The Girl on Fire

stfueverything:

thisisafakeemail submitted:

Back in October, I got pregnant.

I’m 16, and it was the worst thing that happened to me.

I used a condom, it broke. My boyfriend bought Plan B for me (because I was too young to buy it on my own at the time). Plan B failed as well.

For the first few weeks, I just knew. I knew I was pregnant, without even a test. I remember looking in the mirror one day, I thought I looked extremely beautiful - glowing, for lack of a better word. After a few seconds, I froze. I had watched enough movies to know that ‘glowing’ in many cases meant pregnancy. I ran to my room and hid until I actually had to go to school.

But after that I was in denial, extreme denial. I thought “no, this couldn’t possibly happen to me.”

After about five weeks, I decided to go to a pregnancy center in my town (not planned parenthood, this one was privately owned). I didn’t know it at the time, but they were an extremely religious organization who tried their hardest to stop abortions.

I went in there, took the test.

Of course, it came up positive.

I was terrified, I broke down sobbing. The woman I had been talking to made no move to try and comfort me. Instead she bombarded me with questions, asking if I was going to keep the baby. If I had any religion that would influence me to keep it. Things like that. 

I couldn’t answer for a while, but I wanted to scream at her.

Eventually I said “I don’t see anything wrong with abortion.”

She fought back. But you could give it up for adoption! It’s actually not that hard to care for a child! Killing it would be wrong!

I had no energy to reply, to argue. All of my peace of mind was gone, destroyed.

I couldn’t tell her that I wanted to be a Dental Hygenist, that raising a kid when I was 16 would destroy that dream for me. I couldn’t tell her that having a child with how petite I was would severly damage my body. I couldn’t tell her that I wouldn’t be able to give the life that my child deserves because I am so young…because I have depression. I couldn’t say that to carry a child for nine months, and then give it up would destroy me on the inside.

I could only sit there and cry. I cried about how this happened to me. How I’d have to tell my mom.  How I have to deal with the consequence of my action.

She asked me if anyone was pressuring me into getting an abortion.

She said my boyfriend was going to leave me no matter what my decision was.

I left.

I wiped my face with my sleeve and stormed out.

I never felt so sad, so defeated. Empty.

My mom asked me later that day what was wrong, and I told her. I had lost the ability to care what she thought.

She took me to Planned Parenthood to set up an abortion.

And I am so grateful for all of the love and support I got from the people who worked there. How they made me feel unashamed and like a person. I am ever grateful for the brave women in the waiting room who comforted me, who comforted each other, who complained about the idiotic pro-life protestors who were just outside trying to influence us to keep the children who couldn’t have a good life if we kept them.

And I’ll forever love the Doctor who gave me the abortion. The Doctor who I fear for the life of because of how hated doctors who preform abortions are by so many extremests. He was the kindest man, the absolute best.

And so when I hear stories about Planned Parenthood loosing funding, I’m afraid. Because I know they’ll be replaced by places like that pregnancy center I went to. I don’t want anyone to have to go through what I did there. Regardless of the abortion bit of Planned Parenthood, I’m afraid for those women who ARE pregnant and can’t aford the prenatal care they need.

And I know, that as soon as I’m old enough. I’ll not only write letters to my congressmen…but I’ll stand up to them. Go to every single event I can to protest the cutting of Planned Parenthood’s funding. Hell, I don’t care if I end up crying in front of every single one of those men who opose abortions. I do not want anyone to go through what I went through. No one deserves that.

Thank you for sharing your story and being so brave in the face of the CPC staff member. Thank you for not being afraid of doing what’s right for you.